When Tim Fares was first encouraged to ask Convoy for help, he thought the support was meant for someone else.
His wife Emma had been diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive brain cancer. They were facing treatment, financial pressure and the uncertainty of what lay ahead. Still, he resisted.
“That’s not for us. We’re okay,” the general manager of Illawarra Sports Stadium recalled telling those who suggested making the call.
Months later, with bills mounting, he became overwhelmed during a conversation with a mate, and he heard the suggestion again. This time, his friend challenged him: their family was exactly who Convoy was there to help.
Speaking at Healthier Illawarra Men’s (HIM) annual luncheon at the University of Wollongong on Friday, Tim described the community that stood beside his family through Emma’s illness.
Emma died in September after a two-year battle. Ahead of this weekend’s i98FM Illawarra Convoy, Tim presented a $6,000 donation from HIM in her memory, accepted by Marty Haynes.
Tim said the support surrounding the family could be traced back to a decision Emma had encouraged him to make more than a decade earlier.
In 2013, they were living in Geelong with a young son when Tim messaged Emma during a difficult period at work. She suggested they quit and move back to Wollongong.
He worried about leaving without another job. Emma believed they would have more support at home.
Years later, as her illness progressed, the significance of that decision became clear.
Family and friends rallied around them. Convoy helped ease the pressure.
“It was like we had an army behind us,” Tim said.
“And right in the middle of that army was the team from Convoy.”
He also recalled Emma’s determination, during trips for treatment, to leave people smiling because they could never know what someone else was going through.
Now, he was asking the community to support the organisation that had helped them.
The presentation was part of $30,000 in HIM grants, with Illawarra Aboriginal Corporation, Lifeline South Coast, Escabags and Top Blokes also receiving $6,000 each.
Under the theme ‘Bring Your Sister: The Women Who Shape Our Lives’, guests heard about seeking help, supporting others and the examples adults set for children.
NSW Minister for Health and Member for Keira Ryan Park told guests he deliberately talks to his sons about difficult days, hoping they will grow up knowing they can do the same.
“I don’t want him to feel as though he’s got to deal with stuff on his own,” he said of his 16-year-old.
That meant putting down the laptop and answering honestly when asked how his day had been, including acknowledging things he could have handled better.
“I expect him to do his best. I expect him to be a good person, but we’re human beings, and we stuff up sometimes,” Mr Park said.
On respectful behaviour, he described asking his boys how they would respond if an offensive comment were directed at their mother, giving them a personal reference point for understanding its impact.
Women Illawarra general manager Michelle Glasgow, who joined Mr Park on a panel moderated by Destination Wollongong’s Jeremy Wilshire, said homes are important places to teach accountability.
“How we teach our children in the home is what they will take out into community,” she said.
Australian Institute of Health and Welfare figures show 67 per cent of female domestic homicide victims in 2024–25 were killed by an intimate partner.
Ms Glasgow said supporting men and improving community safety go hand in hand: “I really believe that if we support our men, we’ll improve the safety of our communities.”
The lunch also recognised a young woman already helping men connect.
Abbey O’Connor, who leads social media and communications for The Man Walk, received the inaugural $5,000 Graham Lancaster AM Scholarship.
The University of Wollongong communications and media student plans to develop her knowledge of mental health literacy, trauma-sensitive communication, respectful relationships and community leadership.
She also hopes to create a practical “Check in on a Mate” resource series, helping people start conversations, listen without judgement and find support.
Alongside the funding, Abbey will receive mentoring from Mr Lancaster and access to leadership and networking opportunities.
“Working with The Man Walk has shown me how much a familiar face and a regular conversation can mean to someone,” Abbey said.
“I want to help make that first step feel easier, whether it’s coming along for a walk, checking in on a mate or asking for support.”
The i98FM Illawarra Convoy takes place on Sunday, November 15.
Later this month, the community will gather for the Rose Vigil at McCabe Park on Wednesday, November 25, at 12.30pm, remembering women who have lost their lives to domestic and family violence.
~ The Pulse Illawarra was invited to the HIM Luncheon by 360HR Solutions.